The story is told of a Scottish preacher to whom a young woman came in great distress because it appeared to her that one of her deepest desires was not in the will of God, and she could not accept that fact, what should she do?

And so this wise man took from his pocket a little slip of paper, and he said to her “I’m going to write two words on this and I want you to go to the back of the church, sit down, and study these two words and cross one of them out, and come back and talk to me”

She took the slip of paper, she sat down, and she saw that he had written


Now which word was she to cross out? If she said NO then she would have to cross out LORD, because you can’t say NO and call Him LORD

Jesus said “Why do you call me LORD, LORD and do not the things that I say” Luke 6:46

But if she wanted to say LORD, she had to cross out NO.


Simple isn’t it? – But that is what it comes down to.


Taken from a talk called Holy Harmony part 2 by Elisabeth Elliot.

Christian Living – Complimentary love

Christian Living / Owen Strachan

Pursue Complementarity, Not Compatibility


Has any concept done more to hinder the development of love? We hear that once we discover our perfect physical and emotional match, we’ll taste ceaseless fulfillment, experience sizzling romance, and meet one another’s deepest needs. A world of bliss.


Actually, this approach is fraught with pressure and flawed from the start. Tim and Kathy Keller said it well in The Meaning of Marriage [review]: “Physical attractiveness will wane, no matter how hard you work to delay its departure. And socioeconomic status unfortunately can change almost overnight.” In such relationships, cracks will show, and soon the “compatibility foundation” falls apart. So people rip up their marriages and start over again, believing they married a person they weren’t compatible with.

How tragic! The real issue before every couple is this: none of us is compatible. We’re sinners. That’s why we need something much better and sturdier as the ground of our marriages.

We need complementarity, not compatibility.

Complementary Love

We’re all confused today. Our sexualized culture has lost a script for love, leaving only consent and an eCard in its wake. In such a vacuum, compatibility seems promising as an organizing principle for wedded union. The biblical perspective, however, says the taproot of a happy, healthy marriage is gospel-shaped manhood and womanhood. Life in marriage simply doesn’t make sense without this vision.

Scripture shows us God creates the woman for the man after forming him from the ground (Gen. 2:7, 18). Eve is made from Adam’s own body, indicating both his call to protect her and a connectedness that transcends biology (Gen. 2:21–22). She’s his “helper,” and he’s to “hold fast” to her, which means he’s to lead in love and never let her go (Gen. 2:18, 24). Paul fills out this picture in Ephesians 5:22–33, the Bible’s preeminent passage on what marriage is and should be. By grace, a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. By grace, a wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ.

Beyond Ephesians 5, Scripture demonstrates that the wife seeks to cultivate what Peter calls a “gentle and quiet spirit” while the husband lives with her in an understanding, self-sacrificial, tender way (1 Pet. 3:4, 7). If God wills, they raise children. They work together to build a happy home in Christ, and he spiritually leads his family, managing it well (1 Tim. 3:4).

Of course, the couple shares much in their marriage. They must extend forgiveness, stir one another to godliness, and mourn together when loved ones die. In these and other ways, they care for each other as every believer should. But their marriage is no gender-neutral laboratory. He’s a man; she’s a woman. As Gavin Peacock and I share in our new book, The Grand Design, God has given us a script for sex and love, one that’s true and good. We don’t know everything about the shape our lives are to take if we marry, but we know a lot.

No One Is Compatible 

As stated above, no one’s compatible. Why? Because both spouses are sinners, and sin shreds even the most promising union. Compatibility might exist on paper, but as soon as two sinners start living together, it won’t in practice. Your average Hollywood couple looks so happy on paper—everything seems to match up. It’s a fairy tale! But then tensions creep in. Booming bank accounts and sexual attraction are great, but they won’t solve even the smallest issues that develop when two fallen humans unite in matrimony. Not even close.

Sexual differences matter, too. Modes of problem-solving, emotional expression, intuitional differences—all these and more often play into the strange alchemy that is the man-woman pairing. Though we all face challenges, there’s glory in the Spirit-empowered outworking of a complementary marriage. When the man feels like pulling away, he must remember it’s God’s will for him to cling to his wife. Headship in Scripture means leadership, and one of the most crucial aspects of godly leadership is repentance grounded in humility. Instead of sulking, he fights for his marriage, confesses his sin, and leads in reconciliation.

How unlike the world’s conception of manhood this is.

When the woman feels like lashing out or undermining her husband, she recalls that she puts the gospel on display when she chooses instead to honor him. Being a wife in Scripture means living—in big and small ways—for him, and ultimately for Christ. This is a glorious role, not a cursed one (see 1 Cor. 11:9). His leadership isn’t perfect, but she welcomes it. She strives to live out the family vision, and to bless her home and kids. Her work is vital. The helper, after all, fills a role the leader cannot.

How unlike the world’s conception of womanhood this is.

Where It’s All Headed 

Such God-honoring complementarity best explains the beauty of a wedding. The bride walks down the aisle, and the man blinks back tears at God’s grace to him. It’s Genesis 2 all over again. But now the couple needs Ephesians 5—lived out by divine aid—to be truly happy. And beyond this, they and every member of Christ’s church need Revelation 21. Whether single or married, we’re all called to live as a man or a woman for God’s glory. Weddings are terrific, but they speak of a greater consummation—when all the bride of Christ comes home.

We must remember the future in tough moments: when the baby wakes up for the third time at night; when communication breaks down; when opinions strongly differ. We need a strong, self-sacrificial Jesus and his loving, submissive bride emblazoned on our minds. This is what we’re working toward, day after day, until we’re old and gray and the anniversary cake holds decades worth of candles.

Compatibility is great if you can get it, as Matt Chandler has said well. Good communication, specific care for one another, trying activities your spouse enjoys—such practices will help couples bond. We pray to grow together, not to grow apart, over the years. But ultimately, it’s not compatibility that will sustain and strengthen our marriages. It’s complementarity—anchored in Scripture, displayed most happily in Spirit-powered marriages, and fulfilled in the love of Christ and his bride.

For more on when compatibility matters in a relationship, check out this video from Matt Chandler.


Full Sun

I know better, but I still keep trying. The instructions on the label are clear: “Needs full sun.” Our garden has mostly shade. It is not suitable for plants that need full sun. But I like the plant. I like its colour, the shape of the leaves, the size, the scent. So I buy it, bring it home, plant it and take really good care of it. But the plant is not happy at my house. My care and attention are not enough. It needs sunlight, which I cannot provide. I thought I could make up for lack of light by giving the plant some other kind of attention. But it doesn’t work that way. Plants need what they need. And so do people. Although we can survive for a while in ‘less than ideal’ conditions, we can’t thrive. In addition to our basic physical needs, we also have spiritual needs that can’t be met by any substitute.

Scripture says that believers are children of light. This means that we need to live in the full light of God’s presence to thrive (PS.89:15). If we try to live in darkness, we will produce nothing but “fruitless deeds” (SEE EPH.5:3-4, 11). But if we are living in the light of Jesus, the Light of the world, we will produce the fruit of His light, which is good, faithful and true. ~JULIE ACKERMAN LINK

Dear Lord, thank You for redeeming me and giving me new life.
Help me to live as a child of the Light.

Children of the Light walk in His light.

Ref: Ephesians 5:1-16

Moriel Update 2016

To our Brethren in Jesus,

It is appropriate for me to commence by earnestly thanking you all for your much valued and appreciated prayers and support during the last year. This has been particularly true in light of my own health struggles with lympho-edema and the infectious cellulites in my lower limbs that easily cause recurrence. I have spent three stretches hospitalized in the UK & USA totaling nearly seven weeks since September when I very nearly went home to glory because of bilateral kidney and hepatic failure due to cellulite infection. I have since that time been hospitalized twice and had surgery in California plus a series of subcutaneous tissue ingrates above my ankle. My lower legs remain in compression castings and I undergo self administered lymphatic pump treatments daily plus, for the moment, a cocktail if medication. I frequently require crutches to be mobile.  The susceptibility to cellulite reinfection is high and the ramifications for my neck injury and restrictions on the hydro therapy I used to reduce reliance on anti-inflammatory agents is problematic. The anti inflammatory drugs, without which I experience extremely painful brachio-plexis and partial paralysis in my left arm, are contra-indicated for other medications I am required to take. Yet The Lord has allowed this.


Continue reading “Moriel Update 2016”


During the Christmas period I drove to Leeds to be with my family for the celebrations.

I had recently started an infection and given antibiotics for it.

On Boxing Day I set out home about 2pm hoping to be back before dark. Right from the onset the traffic was very heavy and after 30 miles on the M62 I began to feel very unwell and was shaking uncontrollably. As I was alone in the car I became rather anxious and at the same time the traffic slowed to 20 miles per hour. I at first thought of pulling over and calling emergency services but knew they were stretched to the limit so I continued. To my delight I saw a sign for a services stop 10 miles ahead so decided to persevere to that By now two lanes of the motorway were closed due to an accident up ahead so things were getting worse for me. I now realised that only one very special person was able to help and that is my Heavenly Father who never leaves us nor forsakes us so I called on Him in prayer to help me and give me the strength to get home.

At the sign for “services 1 mile ahead” there was an emergency notice ahead saying “motorway closed follow detour route” My heart sank but I continued to call on The Lord for His help.

We were diverted towards Rochdale a place I have never been and by now it was raining and very dark We crawled towards the town and by now I was getting desperate to stop .Suddenly in the pitch dark as I rounded a bend there in the sky was a bright letter M advertising a McDonalds restaurant near by. I followed the signs and finally was able to stop rest awhile and refresh myself.

What was to be a 2hour journey turned into 5 before I reached home.

The very next day on the news was a picture of the road in Leeds down which I had travelled and the street in Rochdale both completely under water The Lords hand had been on me all the way and He knew that I needed to keep going. I pray when you read this you will consider trusting in The Lord who never lets us down.